Good Eating = Happy Mommy

How lucky we are...

I am frequently reminded of how very lucky our family is to have our girls with us.

I feel such sadness and pain for other families when they aren't as lucky. I can only imagine what it must be like to go through losing a baby. It's hard to even think about how easily it could have turned out differently for us. As difficult as any day might be, I can't imagine going on without my girls.

Like I mentioned in the last post...we've already gotten our miracle. This family needs theirs. Please keep them in your hearts and thoughts.

Happy 2007!

I should title this post "Crappy 2007" because it has been...literally. Not that I think 2007 will be a bad year for us, to the contrary actually. It's just that both girls are sick with a tummy bug and have had diarrhea and vomiting for the past three or four days. It's hasn't been a horrible sickness. Not as bad as the one this time last year. Just a couple bouts of sickness a day. But it has cramped our style just a bit in really enjoying the first few days of the new year.

Holland and Eden spent the night at Nana and Papa's again on New Year's eve, and we had some friends over. We invited lots of people, but it ended up being just our nearest and dearest from good ole Wayne High and that was OK with me! I LOVE you girls (and guys:))

I personally had a super fabulous time. I can't speak for John who ended up sick and asleep by 10:30pm. Was it a touch of the tummy bug? Or just too much of the champagne punch? I guess we'll never know for sure;)

What I do know, is that 2006 wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It beat the hell out of 2004 and 2005.

It isn't that my gloomy predictions for 2006 didn't come true. They mostly did. It's just that what I thought might be the worst that could happen, turned out to not really be the worst.

Eden's CP is still fairly severe. On the surface it doesn't really seem that she has made much progress physically since this time last year, except that she has completely mastered rolling. She still can't sit up, still can't hold her head up for long periods of time, and has gained less than three pounds in a years time. But you know what? It's okay. She's bright, and she's sweet, and she is beautiful. She is spunky, with a lust for life, and the most incredible sense of determination and focus that I have ever seen. She's gonna be okay. You know what? She's gonna be MORE than okay even if she NEVER walks.

Obviously, I have days when I don't feel so optimistic. There are still days I could cry all day long. When things seem gloomy and hopeless and way too hard. But those days are getting fewer and further between. Dare I say that it is getting a little bit easier?

I guess I've come to a point of partial acceptance. Don't get me wrong, I still think it sucks. It sucks to see my daughter struggle to do simple things everyday. But you know what, I know that I'm not going to wake up one day and have two daughters with no disabilities. I'm no longer wishing on a star that Eden will start walking. I'm not praying for a miracle, because guess what? The miracle has already happened.

They are here. They are alive. They are happy. What more can we ask for really? It seems so selfish for me to ask for more when there are so many people out there who are suffering in so many ways that are just so much worse. We are the lucky ones. And I am thankful. 2007...here we come!


O, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way

Lyrics by Natalie Merchant

Take the Chickies Bowling

We took the girls bowling today and had a lot of fun. I had the idea that Eden could bowl in her stander, and John noticed some kids bowling with one of these ramps when he went with work. We called ahead, and found out that the ramps were available at the alley near our house, and they have nonsmoking open bowling every day for a few hours! It worked out GREAT! Eden was the perfect height in her stander to reach the ball on the ramp, and her stander fit right up to it. It was a total win! Eden bowled an 87, and Holland a 105. They both bowled over my average:)

We try really hard to find ways that Eden can participate in everything we do. It requires a lot of planning ahead, but is usually possible with some adaptations and a lot of work. Tomorrow we are taking the girls swimming. I have to think about it... I know we can go and take turns holding her, but she tries to get down the whole time and will wear us out. It will be much more fun and a lot easier when we get her headfloat. I was thinking of waiting until spring, but if she enjoys herself tomorrow maybe we'll make the investment sooner. There's a place nearby where they will make her a custom one for her tiny self.

Speaking of tiny...Eden has been a real pill lately about eating. For the past two or three days she is giving us a really hard time, and has eaten next to nothing. Last night she threw up her lunch and the little bit of bottle she had drank, and wouldn't take another drink. She went to bed on a totally empty stomach. It is so sad and stressful. She is so skinny that she feels like she will break when you pick her up. You can feel every bone in her body. We're doing our best to remain calm about it, and just do the best we can without forcing the issue. I'm not exactly sure what is going on, cause she had been doing so well. I know that she is teething...again, and I think that has a lot to do with it. She doesn't drool at all, so I think she swallows all that extra saliva and it makes her tummy feel full and upset. She has been chewing on her fingers constantly and burping and refluxing a lot more than usual. Same thing has happened every time she gets new teeth, and we worry every time. And every time the worrying just doesn't do any good. Shouldn't I know this by now??? But still I worry.

Eden's Obsession

Eden loves to wash. She washes her hands, the sink, cups, spoons, bowls, and anything else she can get her hands on. She asks to "wash" about 50 times a day. She has so much fun playing in the water, but it gets kinda hard to hold her, so I rigged up a great system where she can kneel and do some PT at the same time she is washing! She and Holland were at the sink for about a half hour the other day and had great fun. I got some great shots, but I think this may be my new all time favorite pic.

Santa Spent Too Much Money!

Holland and Eden slept in this morning until 10:00! I have to enjoy it now, because by next year they will probably be up at the crack of dawn to see what Santa brought.

Santa really did take it easy this year, and didn't buy TOO many gifts. Mostly because he knew that Holland and Eden would be so spoiled by their family (which they were), and because they are still too young to really comprehend the whole Santa and Presents thing. Even so, Santa still spent too much money.

Holland opened her gifts and picked out two little pieces of her Playdoh set to carry around the rest of the morning. Eden first opened a matchbox airplane from her stocking, then didn't want to put it down to open more gifts. The second thing she opened was a tube of three little plastic Sesame Street characters. Her airplane went flying, she grabbed Elmo and Zoe, and refused to put them down the rest of the time! Holland had to open all her presents for her, and Eden wasn't the least bit interested. She sure loves Elmo and Zoe though. Woulda cost Santa about $3!

At my mom's house this afternoon Holland and Eden opened the Little People Farm. Holland was SO excited and said "open...farm...out...farm...open it" and Mommy couldn't resist, so I opened it. She and Eden both started playing and didn't want to open any more presents! They would have been perfectly content if that had been all they got!

I think it might be a good idea to save some of their presents in the box, and get them out one at a time over a couple of months. That was we can extend the play time, and get more mileage out of some of their toys. I find that the toys I keep put away, and only bring out once in a while, are enjoyed a lot more than those they have available all the time.

We had a WONDERFUL Christmas this year. It's so fun for me to see my girls growing up loving their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We are so lucky to have two big, kind, loving, loud, crazy families to spend the holidays with. I love them all so very much!

Christmas Eve

Glasses

I am hesitant to put this post at the top, because I just love the pic of Eden standing so much I could leave it there forever and look at it all day long. But, Holly is awfully cute in her new pink glasses. She looks so grown up and studious. We took her to pick them up at nap time (bad idea), but we could tell when she first put them on that she knew something was different. Once we got home and really got to try them out she was pretty good at keeping them on. I suspect it will take a couple of days, and then she won't want to take them off:)