Thursday, October 27, 2005

Sleep Deprived

Here we are getting ready for bed. We have a nice bedtime routine that includes pjs, bottles, breathing treatments, books, and songs with all four of us. This is the fun part. It's the part where they are actually supposed to go to sleep that has recently become a BIG problem. Not with Eden...she's a peach as always. Holly, on the other hand, has become a real stinker when it comes to sleeping. We have been so lucky when it comes to sleep. Lucky to the point that maybe I got a little smug. I read some of your blogs and talked my friends through it, thinking to myself "oh poor them, it must be so hard when your baby won't sleep and you have to let them cry." I, of course, figured I would NEVER let my baby "CRY IT OUT." I wouldn't have to. They are such good sleepers. So much for that...

I am sure Holland's current sleep issues are related to her being sick. In the hospital with pneumonia at the beginning of the month, then sick again with a cold and ear infection a mere three weeks later! When she is sick I spoil her, I'll admit it. I don't let her cry. I attend to her every need and let her sleep in my bed. So, through it all it got progressively worse. We went from putting her in her bed and having her fall asleep with absolutely no problem, to having to pat her back, then rub her back for longer periods, then singing and rubbing her back, then picking her up and rocking her, to bringing her to bed with us when all else failed. We have truly created a monster. Now she is feeling better and I am stuck trying to undo weeks of damage. She starts crying the minute we leave the room, and none of the usual tricks are working. She won't stop crying until we pick her up and bring her to our room. Even then, she doesn't want to sleep. She wants to play, or just rolls around moaning and fussing every few minutes.

I imagine this would be difficult for any parent. It's even harder on us given all that our babies have been through. I never want them to cry. It kills me. It makes me cry. But nothing else is working. Being a parent is SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!! How the heck am I supposed to know what to do?

Friday, October 21, 2005

Mess, Mess, Mess

I really wonder how people do it. How do you manage to take care of your kids AND keep your house clean??? I used to be so good, maybe even a little anal about the cleanliness of my house. I wouldn't have ANYONE over unless it was spotless. Now it's just a wreck. I can't seem to get it together. AND we have home visits from 2 physical therapists, as well as Eden's teacher, audiologist, and speech pathologist. They see my house in shambles.

I was watching The View yesterday, and there was this lady on who just had her 16TH KID! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I admire this lady. I think she is crazy. But she did seem to have it together. I can't even imagine it. The two I have seem to occupy every moment of my time.

When I do have a second to relax, that's just what I want to do, relax. Sometimes I take a nap with them. Sometimes I just veg out and watch TV. The very last thing I want to do is clean house. Or make phone calls. Or do laundry. Or cook. Maybe it is possible, but you would have to be completely busy every second of the day. I just can't do that. I like to take it easy and enjoy my time with the babies when they are awake.

I want to kick back with a glass of wine, or a mug of mocha, and a good book or movie when they are asleep. I don't want to clean house. How do you mom's out there manage? Is there some secret I don't know about? Please let me in on it! I could use some pointers.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


I just love pictures like this where their personalities shine through. I find it so interesting how many people ask if they are identical and act suprised when I say they are not. We've had a lot of people say that they look a lot alike. We don't think so AT ALL! Just curious what you all think. Do they look at all alike, or completely different? What features do you think look similar and what is different? Can you tell them apart in pictures? All opinions welcome, so long as you think they are as cute as I do!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Justa Swingin

We took the girls for a little walk and swing before bed yesterday. We know that it won't be long before winter sets in and we want to get in all the nice weather we can before then. Now that RSV season has officially begun we will be spending a lot more time at home in hiding again. Especially after the events of the past week.

Holland had a follow-up appointment with her pediatrician today. She came home on Tuesday with a new list of meds. She is now on Albuterol, Pulimcort, and Amoxicillin, as well as Zyrtec and 2.5% Hydrocortizone cream. She finished her Predisone yesterday. We are weaning the Albuterol, and will start doing that only on an as needed basis. She will take the antibiotic for 7 days. We will continue the Pulmicort breathing treatments through the winter once a day.

I went ahead and scheduled an appointment for Eden too since her congestion is not getting any better, and may even be worse. Our pediatrician (who is the Greatest Doctor Ever) said that Eden is wheezing a little and ordered a chest xray to make sure that SHE doesn't have pneumonia. It turned out clear, so we are happy about that. We are taking her back in tomorrow at 11:30 to make sure that she is getting better. We started Albuterol treatments with Eden today, and are pretty sure that she will end up on Pulmicort through the winter also. Both girls will be getting a flu shot, as well as monthly Synagis shots (for RSV) through the winter. So, after about 6 months close to drug free, we are back to keeping schedules on the fridge so we don't forget any meds!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Eden, Version 2.0: Post Cochlear Implant

It's over and we're all home! On Sunday Eden had kind of a rough night because of her cold. Her congestion and cough seemed a little worse than the day before and I had prepared myself for the fact that her cochlear implant surgery would probably have to be postponed. We got to the hospital at 6:30am Monday morning. We didn't have to wait long before moving into the pre-surgery room where we dressed Eden in her hospital gown and talked with her nurse and anesthesiologist. We told everyone about the fact that Holland was in the hospital being treated for pneumonia, and that we were pretty sure Eden had the same virus. The anesthesiologist checked her over, and said that because her lungs sounded clear and she didn't have a fever she was good to go for surgery. At that point I felt really emotional and not at all prepared. While we were waiting I cried a little bit thinking about how this was the last time I would see Eden as she was. I also starting worrying about her having another scar, about sending my baby for a surgery that she didn't really NEED, and about all of the risks involved with the surgery itself and the anesthesia. I found myself wondering if we were making the right decision.

Just after 7:30am the anesthesiologist came to get Eden to carry her back for surgery. We went to the waiting room to wait. And wait. And wait. We were told that Eden would be put to sleep using a mask, then they would put in an IV and intubate her (put her on the ventilator). There is no way that I wanted to be around to see that, so I am glad that they didn't make the offer. After about an hour and a half of waiting the audiologist came out and told us that they had done testing on Eden's right ear and everything looked great for implanting that ear. She said that she was able to get great responses and it was one of the easiest cases she had done in a long time. That was reassuring to hear. I wonder if she says that to everyone:) We waited another hour and 45 minutes for the surgeon to come out. He told us that everything had gone really well. They drilled down a portion of her skull behind her ear where the implant will sit. He said that the internal structure of her ear was fully developed and almost adult sized. He had no problem getting the implant completely into her cochlea and he feels confident that she will respond really well. Then he told us it would be about 15 minutes while they finished stitching her up and woke her up from the anesthesia.

After about an hour and a half we started to feel a bit panicked. I went to the receptionist who had Eden's nurse call me. The nurse said in the nicest way possible, that Eden was having a little trouble maintaining her oxygen saturation and they were working on finding a good setting for her. They wanted to watch her for a few minutes and would have us back in about 10 minutes. About 15 minutes later we went back to see her. This was the absolute hardest part of the process by far. Eden was crying and holding her breath long enough to turn blue and drop her oxygen saturation down to 50%. I knew it was just because she was mad, because she has done it at home when she has gotten really hungry/tired/mad. About three times she has cried hard enough that she forgot to breathe, turned blue, and actually passed out. It only takes a split second for her to start breathing again. The nurse seemed really surprised when I told her this. I thought it was just something quirky that some babies do. It was scarey the first time, but after that I just chalked it up to Eden being a drama queen. It takes a lot to get her riled up, but when you out!

I sat in a rocking chair and held Eden for a few minutes while she whimpered and cried. John suggested that she might be hungry, so the nurse went to get her a bottle of sugar water. I tease John that when the babies cry, he always thinks they are hungry, hot, cold, or poopy. Just because that's when HE cries. Well, in this case he was right on. Eden sucked down a 3 ounce bottle like she was starving, and after that was a lot calmer. I carried Eden in a wheelchair up to her room. Once there, we fed her a 3 ounce bottle of formula and she fell sound asleep for a couple of hours. When she woke up she was solemn, but not really crying. She looked around at us and checked out her new surroundings. She ended up sleeping most of the day but did wake up for a litte while and gave us some great smiles to reassure us that she was still our Eden. John and I left around 4pm for a few hours to visit Holland at her hospital, just about 10 minutes away. When we got there Holly was in a great mood. She was very happy to see us, was off her oxygen, and was just smiling and playing away. We hung out for a few hours, then I left to go stay the night with Eden. John stayed with Holland. Both girls had really good nights and slept pretty well under the circumstances (it's virtually impossible to get a good nights sleep in a hospital with how many times people are in and out of your room!!!).

Eden woke up around 5 this morning in a great mood. She was back to herself. Through the morning she sat up in a high chair, played with her toys, ate cheerios, watched cartoons, played games with mommy, and smiled at everyone who came in the room. One of the resident docs came in around 6:45am to take of her bandages. The incision is behind her ear and much smaller than I even anticipated. It is covered with tape and really doesn't look bad at all. Eden doesn't seem to notice it at all, and even lays with that side of her head down. She was on pain meds all day the first day, but by today didn't seem to really need them. She didn't complain at all. The only problem we had was that she had a little trouble coming off the oxygen. Every time they tried taking it off she would drop her oxygen saturation into the high 80s when she was sleeping. They want it to stay above 90, even when she is asleep. Holland was discharged around 11:30, and she, John, and my mom came to visit Eden. They seemed very happy to see each other. Actually, shortly after Holland got there, Eden started doing better off the oxygen. I wonder if she knew her sis was finally back. Around 1:00 they discharged Eden and we all got to come home together.

Both girls seemed very excited to be home. They were very animated playing with their toys and each other. They took a bath and splashed, and kicked, and had a great time. The only concern I had this evening was that the side of Eden head was becoming really swollen. I had the on call doctor paged and he called me back in 2 minutes. He said that swelling like this is normal, especially in babies, and should go down in a couple of days. We'll keep an eye on her. Otherwise, we all have come through an immensely stressful 5 days relatively unscathed. At least we are all still alive and kicking. We made it through another day. Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

More Hospitals

I don't have time for a long post, but I wanted to keep everyone up to date with the latest happenings. Holland came down with a viral infection on Thursday night, basically a really stuffy/runny nose and a cough. It got worse through the night on Friday and we ended up taking her to the ER at St. Joe's around 6am Saturday morning. She was admitted and has been diagnosed with a "reactive airway" and a touch of "bilateral pneumonia." She has been receiving breathing treatments every couple of hours, as well as steroids and antibiotics. She had a very rough night last night until around 11pm, when she finally fell asleep and slept for about 8 hours. This was the longest stretch of sleep she has gotten for three nights. She woke up this morning in a pretty good mood. After her morning nap she seemed to be feeling better and is working less on her breathing, and finally starting to smile and play like herself. She is still having trouble keeping her oxygen saturation up and will be staying at the hospital again tonight. I caught the virus that started it all and started feeling miserable last night. We barely made it through the night.

Eden has had a little bit of a stuffy nose yesterday and today and a little bit of a cough. So far, she seems to be handling it pretty well. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Right now, our plan is to take her in for her surgery in the morning and have her evaluated by the pediatric anesthesiologist. It will be his/her call as to whether or not we proceed with the surgery. It will be very frustrating and sad if we have to postpone the surgery after all of our anticipation, but we have to do what is right for Edie. If we do go through with the surgery, we will have babies at two different hosptials...again. Keep us all in your thoughts as we approach another boulder in the road...