Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Happy 2007!

I should title this post "Crappy 2007" because it has been...literally. Not that I think 2007 will be a bad year for us, to the contrary actually. It's just that both girls are sick with a tummy bug and have had diarrhea and vomiting for the past three or four days. It's hasn't been a horrible sickness. Not as bad as the one this time last year. Just a couple bouts of sickness a day. But it has cramped our style just a bit in really enjoying the first few days of the new year.

Holland and Eden spent the night at Nana and Papa's again on New Year's eve, and we had some friends over. We invited lots of people, but it ended up being just our nearest and dearest from good ole Wayne High and that was OK with me! I LOVE you girls (and guys:))

I personally had a super fabulous time. I can't speak for John who ended up sick and asleep by 10:30pm. Was it a touch of the tummy bug? Or just too much of the champagne punch? I guess we'll never know for sure;)

What I do know, is that 2006 wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It beat the hell out of 2004 and 2005.

It isn't that my gloomy predictions for 2006 didn't come true. They mostly did. It's just that what I thought might be the worst that could happen, turned out to not really be the worst.

Eden's CP is still fairly severe. On the surface it doesn't really seem that she has made much progress physically since this time last year, except that she has completely mastered rolling. She still can't sit up, still can't hold her head up for long periods of time, and has gained less than three pounds in a years time. But you know what? It's okay. She's bright, and she's sweet, and she is beautiful. She is spunky, with a lust for life, and the most incredible sense of determination and focus that I have ever seen. She's gonna be okay. You know what? She's gonna be MORE than okay even if she NEVER walks.

Obviously, I have days when I don't feel so optimistic. There are still days I could cry all day long. When things seem gloomy and hopeless and way too hard. But those days are getting fewer and further between. Dare I say that it is getting a little bit easier?

I guess I've come to a point of partial acceptance. Don't get me wrong, I still think it sucks. It sucks to see my daughter struggle to do simple things everyday. But you know what, I know that I'm not going to wake up one day and have two daughters with no disabilities. I'm no longer wishing on a star that Eden will start walking. I'm not praying for a miracle, because guess what? The miracle has already happened.

They are here. They are alive. They are happy. What more can we ask for really? It seems so selfish for me to ask for more when there are so many people out there who are suffering in so many ways that are just so much worse. We are the lucky ones. And I am thankful. 2007...here we come!

O, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way

Lyrics by Natalie Merchant


Anonymous said...

Wishing you a healthy 2007-- your kids are so cute!


Anonymous said...

Wishing you a brighter 2007 and some amazing milestones with your girls. :)

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year. I hope the girls are feeling better soon!

Anonymous said...

Your words are beautiful, and so are your pictures. Happy 2007 to all of you!

Anonymous said...

Wow, Billie! I think this is my favorite post you've ever written. Your words have so much love and hope. What more could you possibly give your girls? they are so lucky to have such an amazing mother. Happy 2007, here's to many blessings to you and your family this year!

MamaChristy said...

"She's gonna be MORE than okay even if she NEVER walks."

You have arrived. Glad to see such optimism. Happy 2007!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I truly admire your strength --I really do =)
Wishing you and your family a great year ahead =)
Things will always be better with family around =)

Kendra Lynn said...

Happy new Year, Bille and John!
May this year be the best ever for you.
Those girls are the strongest and most amazing girls ever.


Anonymous said...

What a wonderful outlook, Billie. And you're right. It sucks, big time, but it can be okay at the same time. Life's so strange that way, and yet so beautiful.

Happy new year to you and your wonderful family!

Anonymous said...

This was a beautiful entry. I'm glad that you are all so happy!


Anonymous said...

Best post yet!

Anonymous said...

It would be wonderful if life could be just what we want, but seldom does that happen. Finding joy in what we have is where we find peace. God bless you. Connie W.

Kim said...

Those girls are so lucky to have a Mom who is so wise and insightful. They will DEFINITELY be okay because they have such an amazing role model and caretaker. Happy 2007.

Anonymous said...

You have this incredible patience and amazing outlook.

You think your going to fall apart and then something inside changes all of that. Keep up the great work, your girls needs you and your there for them.

Anonymous said...

I once again shared a fabulous new years eve with you and our friends!! Even though John didn't make it to the ball drop I think he had fun while he lasted. I am continuously amazed by your little ones and know whatever life may bring they are two of the luckiest girls alive, and will have a joyous and very fulfilled life!! That is my prediction for the years to come. I can't wait to share in another year of their childhood with them and you & John. Luv you guys! Liz

Anonymous said...

I hope that this year is the best year that you have had. your words touched my heart and i had watery eyes. Eden will still be fine whatever does happen in her life. You and John are proberly as strong and you will be able to get threw anything. I hope the girls are feeling much better, ame with John.
Holland and Eden are so lucky to have such a loving mom.


Anonymous said...

Happy New Year!
The photo of Eden eating has got to be one of my all time favorites!

Anonymous said...

Fabulous post. You guys are gonna have a BIG year and I pray that you will have a healthy year also.
I wish that we could of joined you all on New Year's, but we also have brought in 2007 very, very sick. We are actually at U of M with little Miss Marley right now. Hopefully our girls and all of us get it out of our system now and have an awesome 2007. Crazy that it is "2007". I hope that this year isn"t as crazy and we can get together with the girls.
You guys are AWESOME parents and we love you, Heather, Jeremy and Miss Marley

Anonymous said...

Your girls are gorgeous! I had twin boys June 23,2004 and i was also 24 weeks and 3 days. We lost one at 12 days old but our surviving twin is happy and healthy!

Anonymous said...

Hi Billie,

I can't begin to express how beautiful this post was. Your blog has given us so much inspiration during our journery through micropreemie twin motherhood, and later as mothers of a micropreemie twin survivor. Your girls are gorgeous, resilient, and have taught all of us so much. They are so very lucky to have you guys as parents, and we cannot wait to hear about all the things they do in 2007.


Anonymous said...

thanks for the wonderful NYE party billie and john... and john, i told you to eat that toast!!
love you and hope to talk soon.