Thursday, October 27, 2005

Sleep Deprived

Here we are getting ready for bed. We have a nice bedtime routine that includes pjs, bottles, breathing treatments, books, and songs with all four of us. This is the fun part. It's the part where they are actually supposed to go to sleep that has recently become a BIG problem. Not with Eden...she's a peach as always. Holly, on the other hand, has become a real stinker when it comes to sleeping. We have been so lucky when it comes to sleep. Lucky to the point that maybe I got a little smug. I read some of your blogs and talked my friends through it, thinking to myself "oh poor them, it must be so hard when your baby won't sleep and you have to let them cry." I, of course, figured I would NEVER let my baby "CRY IT OUT." I wouldn't have to. They are such good sleepers. So much for that...

I am sure Holland's current sleep issues are related to her being sick. In the hospital with pneumonia at the beginning of the month, then sick again with a cold and ear infection a mere three weeks later! When she is sick I spoil her, I'll admit it. I don't let her cry. I attend to her every need and let her sleep in my bed. So, through it all it got progressively worse. We went from putting her in her bed and having her fall asleep with absolutely no problem, to having to pat her back, then rub her back for longer periods, then singing and rubbing her back, then picking her up and rocking her, to bringing her to bed with us when all else failed. We have truly created a monster. Now she is feeling better and I am stuck trying to undo weeks of damage. She starts crying the minute we leave the room, and none of the usual tricks are working. She won't stop crying until we pick her up and bring her to our room. Even then, she doesn't want to sleep. She wants to play, or just rolls around moaning and fussing every few minutes.

I imagine this would be difficult for any parent. It's even harder on us given all that our babies have been through. I never want them to cry. It kills me. It makes me cry. But nothing else is working. Being a parent is SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!! How the heck am I supposed to know what to do?


Anonymous said...

Ha! Are you really supposed to know what to do all the time? Try the trial and error method and narrow it down to what works best. It may be tough until you figure it out, but such is life! Good luck to you and I'm sure we'll be ringing about what to try next as well! Could singing at night give Holland a second wind? Best of luck! Love, donna

Anonymous said...

Oh Sweetie,
I know, wouldn't it be easier if they came with little special "how to" booklets?
Unfortunately, to undo is the hard part, she knows that it's more fun to hang with you guys than to sleep alone! A little tears while hard to listen is probably the only way to get through this. I've been told if you sit next to the crib without eye contact or talking just so they can see you and edge out a little closer to the door every night will work, but I am not the child expert! Wait till you get to the crib jail breaks! Those days of scaling the bars are what made my hair curl..Lisa was my flying Wolenda of the diaper set way back when! When I think of how many times the child rolled out head over heels to see what was happening on the 'other side' I cringe all over again. You WILL get through this hurdle too, love, patience and a little cotton in the ears to soften the crying will help, it won't be long and she'll be sleeping solo again....smooches to all!
Mamma Jules

Anonymous said...

Hi- What I do with my spoiled micropreemie is keep spoiling her, but now differently. I used to do the walking, singing, books, massage routine but it was taking up to an hour. She was miserable, I was stressed. You could tell she just wanted some sleep. However, I am totally opposed to CIO and just would not do it. My solution:

I put her in the car and drive around the neighborhood. She is out in under 20 minutes and I'm listening to talk radio or music. It really, really works for me and saved my sanity when she became equally appaling. The theory I have is that she is smart and was entertained by my soothing. It kept her up instead of relaxing her because she wanted to see what I would do next, despite being tired.

She also got retrained, without crying it out, to see carseat time as sleep time. Then I put her in her bed after I come home. Sometimes she wakes a little, but is so calm from the movement she goes right back to sleep. It has saved my sanity. Please post about this if it works for you too. Good luck- E

Kate Giovinco Photography said...

L wouldnt sleep the other night he was in a new place and scared. he is 22 months old. I just sat in the rocker next to his crib and kept saying I am here now lay down and go to sleep. That was all he needed but it took a while to figure out!

Kendra Lynn said...

Dear Billie:
I will definitly pray for you and John and Holland. I know its hard when they are sick and crying. Kelsey cries a LOT when she is sick, and we have had MANY sleepless nights as well, with her. No fun, I know.
I hope that she feels better soon, and that you get some sleep.
Take care.

p.s. we have been praying for both girls every Sunday in Sunday School. Matt and Marion never forget to request prayer. :)

Anonymous said...

I cannot express enough how I know exactly what you are going through, "Its Tough, Very Tough!!" Amy makes comments to me all the time that she will be sleeping with me forever, because Raven just started sleeping in her bed at 9. Madelyn is now 5 months old and I admit that she is also sleeping in my bed in order for me to get a good nights sleep. I usually rock her until she falls asleep and then put her in the crib. As soon as I lay her in the crib she is up and screaming. I dont even make it out of her room. I try this at least three times, until I cannot take it no more and put her in bed with me. When she lays in my bed she is Out for the count. She is very spoiled as well. But My Theory is...We tried so long and hard to have them that this is the least of my problems right now, just thankful to have her. But dont get me wrong it is still one of the hardest hurdles I have come across so far. I have tried the CIO thing several times and it has just kept me up even longer. She cried for at least 20 minutes and I had to finally pick her up, then she was so upset that she couldnt catch her breath and ended up satying up over an hour just trying to calm down. So I have given up on that method. Maybe I gave up too soon. I went to Canton library this week and rented a few infant sleep books for some new tips, I will let you know if I get any good ideas. Please let me know if you find something that works for you, As I could also use some tips. Hopefully we can get through this, If not it cant last forever. Good Luck! Amber

HHH said...

I am going through the same thing with my micropreemie. He is now 9 months old and waking up every 2 hours at night. His twin will sleep all night, except we have to wake her up to feed her since she is so small...Either way, we are up all night too. I understand you lack of sleep! Its killing me as well. I love reading your post. I check it every few days. My twins were born at 25 weeks and i relate to so much.

Anonymous said...

From one sleep deprived mom, to another...I saw your post and had to comment. I just spoke to my pediatrican about this, as my 17 month old has just started having issues similar to yours. She recommended the book by Richard Ferber, "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems." Its a quick read and really does work. I hope the best for you and your family. Your two little girls are absolutely adorable and I'm hooked on keeping up to date with your website.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Connor still wakes us up through the night. Mostly fall through winter with needing breathing treatments. Unfortunately I don't remember the last time I have slept 6 hours in a row. Between working MN's and Connor. I just don't think it is possible. But on the lighter side we do adjust and I think that is why women can multitask so well. Re: Cleaning, yes after kids we all have to lower our standards of clean. But from mom to mom we all understand when we walk into a house full of toys left out or blankets unfolded on the couch or dishes not done yet and take-out wrappers in the trash. It's okay. Because frankly kids grow up way to fast, I would rather be enjoying my kids then strapped to my kitchen cleaning up after a big elaberate meal. You are doing such a great job. We love ya bunches.