Monday, January 11, 2010

Twenty Ten

Things I should be doing right now, instead of blogging:
- Folding and hanging up clean clothes - the girls' and my own.
- Unloading and reloading the dishwasher.
- Sorting through the huge box of assorted mail and papers that need to be filed.
- Packing up clothes that are too small, so they can be passed on to my nieces.

The thing about it is...those things never last. I have to do them over and over and over again. When I haven't posted to the blog in a while, I start to get that nagging voice in my head..."write a post, write a post", and I start to feel bad about slacking. I feel the same way with all of those other tedious things around the house that I need to get done. But, at least when I finish a blog's done. And it lasts.

This blog has served me well, and it's purpose has changed dramatically over the years. In the beginning, it was just meant to be a way to keep our friends and family informed about what was happening with the girls in the NICU. After they came home, it became a way for me to stay connected to the outside world. It was a way to connect with other preemie parents, as well as to give and share information about what we were going through. Eventually, during the roughest times, when we were learning about the girls disabilities and the lasting impact that their prematurity would have, it became a therapy tool. A way for me to unload all of the pain and grief and sadness that I was experiencing.

The blog has been useful in all those ways. It has been helpful for me, and also for other people. But I don't personally need it for those reasons anymore. I have developed a strong, lasting support network of family, friends, other NICU parents, and other parents of children with disabilities, both in "real life" and online, that I interact with on a regular basis outside of the blog. But, more importantly, I don't need it because I am in a really happy, peaceful place in my life...a place that I never really thought I would ever be. Twenty Oh Nine was a great year for us, and I feel like Twenty Ten is going to be even better!

But, don't worry. I am not going to stop blogging. I am not going to stop, because every so often I start reading through the archives. In fact, over the past few months I have been reading through the entire thing as I am changing the old pics to a new system. I have finished up through 2005, and have only 2006 left to do. So, as I work on that, I read each post again, and look at each picture and I am so, so glad that I have this wonderful chronicle of my girls' lives. It's like the ultimate baby book. I love reading the funny stories about things they have said and done and remembering what they were like as yummy little babies and toddlers. So, I can't stop. I know I would be so sorry if I did!

I would be sorry, because I want to remember what Holland and Eden are like as five-year-olds. Five is like...the best age ever! They are so funny and cute, and becoming so much more independent. I can hang out with them, and we have really great, interesting conversations. They have opinions and ideas, and, believe it or not, are even getting better at cleaning up their own messes.

I have lots to say about my almost five and HALF year olds. And now that I have convinced myself that I MUST keep blogging, I will work on another post now...

Until then...check out our new haircuts!

Holland Before:

Eden Before:

Holland After:

Eden After:

Me Before:

Me After:

It took me over a year, but I finally worked up the courage!


Carly said...

Hi! I am glad you decided to keep blogging, I wish I could dicipline myself enough to blog..or at least to journal!

I came across this neat website that turns your blog into a book, and thought of you. Weird how I feel like I know you, because I have been reading your blog for almost 2 years!!

abby said...

I LOVE the girls' and your haircuts. You all look so glamorous.

And I am relieved that you guys are going to keep blogging. I really enjoy following Holland and Eden as they get older and do more and more cool stuff. And we'll never forget how much you guys (in virtual reality) gave us solace and hope as we began this journey three and a half years ago.

Melissa said...

I am loving the new haircuts! All of you are so beautiful! See you on Thursday!

Anonymous said...

I've been following for quite awhile. :) Just wanted to say, too, how I'm glad you'll continue & that you've settled into "that" terrific place! Also, wow. Holland looks like a model & Eden is absolutely adorable. And we all know where the girls get that- you! Love the haircuts! :)

Anonymous said...

actually, I meant to say EDEN looked like a model- but both girls do, haha!

Danielle said...

Hi Billie!

All three you have AWESOME haircuts (none for John to complete your rockstar family look though, which is have read almost your entire archive, and I love your blog. It's a small thing that brings a lot of happiness to my very long days in university. I think there is something very therapeutic about watching Eden and Holland grow into such well-adjusted and clever and happy kids, in that as a now 19 year-old living with CP (similar to Eden's & born at 27 weeks) reading about their beginnings and ensuing years helps me to better understand what I went through and find more peace with it (as well as appreciate everything my parents went through on my behalf). Thank you for continuing!

p.s. we corresponded once via Youtube, if my rambling seems familar but unplaceable.

Melissa said...

I love the haircuts! It is so funny, I was telling my husband I have had my hair the same way for so long and I really wanted to do something different. I saw yours and that is how I want my hair!! Your blog is great!! Keep up the great work!

Alice said...

Billie - I feel exactly the same way about my blog - the best baby book (and it always beats the laundry, dishes etc) AND - I got a graduated bob just this last Saturday - how strange is that!

Anonymous said...

great haircut! I got a similar one after my first, Eric, now a year old, CP. I cut 17 inches off that time! now I'm growing it out again but really loved the cut, enjoy it!

oh and please keep blogging!! I love your blog!


Ottawa Reader said...

Hi there

I am a long time reader, but this is the first time I have posted a comment. Your and your girls' story is tremendous, and a huge inspiration. I am so glad that you are continuing, and wish you all the best for a wonderful 2010!

Anne said...

Love the haircuts!

Viscouse said...

I've often thought about how my blogging has evolved over the past 4 years, and it's very much like yours. That first paragraph could have spewed forth from my own fingers. I dearly hope that I am able to keep blogging and stop at a point of my own choosing, instead of having to take it down for security reasons.

At any rate, here's to concentrating on things that endure, and staying balanced!

Amy E said...

Love the new do's! You probably will never know how wonderful your blog has been to others...keep blogging!

Vickie said...

You guys look great! The girls are growing up so fast. Good to see they are doing well :)

Sarah said...

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partyof6 said...

I started reading your blog years ago. I always thought of how hard it might be to be in your situation. Two months ago I suffered a placenta abruption and had my daughter at 32 weeks. She was in shock at birth and they did not expect her to live. She was a fighter and after six weeks she made it home to us. During our stay in the NICU I was always checking out your blog and your archives to see the same things that you had to go through. It was so helpful to see you get through it and to have two beautiful girls. Thanks for all your help. I do not really have a network out here in California so it is nice to be able to check out your blog and others as well.


Anonymous said...

Hey Billie, I was wondering if you could help me with something.... a friend of mine has a micropreemie in Grand Rapids right now, and I remembered reading in one of your posts about a special kind of Medicaid you get for the girls, but I don't remember the name of it. Could you email it to me, please? My email is, and thank you in advance.

Karin Menghini said...


I LOVE your haircut and the girls too! Hope to see you soon at the Joe.

Karin Menghini