tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post4311267543202768233..comments2023-10-29T08:13:44.434-04:00Comments on Micro Preemie Twins: The Story of H & E: The Question of MoreBilliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10589229199716201638noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-2079747072605345132008-10-09T11:46:00.000-04:002008-10-09T11:46:00.000-04:00thanks for putting into words what I had trouble s...thanks for putting into words what I had trouble saying. Yep, nothing ventured, nothing gained. The one thing I hope I can say for my life is that I don't have any regrets. Impossible I know, but one has to try right? Good luck and thanks again for your blog.John and Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01008538395797381001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-27280827707114123392008-10-07T16:56:00.000-04:002008-10-07T16:56:00.000-04:00Go for it Billie. I spent my entire "unplanned" p...Go for it Billie. I spent my entire "unplanned" pregnancy worrying about the exact same things. When Isabella arrived, I realized, not a moment too soon, that it was the best slip-up we ever made. Not to mention, you will feel like a superhuman, because one full-term newborn(fingers crossed) is just SO much easier than what we've experienced before!Taylorshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15543185734479148155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-79004236143962059562008-10-06T09:18:00.000-04:002008-10-06T09:18:00.000-04:00I understand your fears as my 3 1/2 yr old son has...I understand your fears as my 3 1/2 yr old son has moderate CP and was born at 26 wks. His dad was even more fearful than I about having another child. Rather than try getting pregnant we just didn't prevent. Last yr I had an ectopic pregnancy. But I still could not give up hope. I type this right now with a 6 wk old baby girl on my lap, born at 39 weeks and as perfect as they come. Pregnancy was scary and uncomfortable and stressful, and physically demanding, as my son does not walk. But it was so worth it! You are great parents and I hope you decide to grow your family!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-32186729722953570872008-10-01T09:24:00.000-04:002008-10-01T09:24:00.000-04:00Billie and JohnI stumbled upon your blog yesterday...Billie and John<BR/><BR/>I stumbled upon your blog yesterday and spent the last 2 days reading it - from beginning to end. You have 2 beautiful little girls and i think you are doing a great job raising them. I am a single mother of a little girl with mild cerebral palsy - she will be 3 in December. Seeing that my husband and i got a divorce shortly after my baby was born because he didn't want the responsibility of a child with "PROBLEMS" I can't have another baby but would have loved to - scared or not. <BR/>i would say talk it over - it would be great if you could have another baby.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-48186442992796376972008-09-30T14:40:00.000-04:002008-09-30T14:40:00.000-04:00We had this dilemma too. We have daughter who is ...We had this dilemma too. We have daughter who is 3 and was born prematurly. She has CP and is very similar to Eden in her skill level. We debated about having another baby with both of us saying it might just do us in to have the same situation happen again. However we decided to risk it and luckily got pregnant right away before we changed our minds. When I told my husband his first reaction was to cry saying he was so afraid of having to go through what we went through last time. Happily though I have made it to 35 weeks so far with a baby who appears to be perfectly healthy. I say go for it, there is a lot they will do differently this time to prevent a premature birth. Also since you had twins the first time I would guess you wouldn't be that high risk with a single baby. Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-59361571173582823762008-09-30T08:50:00.000-04:002008-09-30T08:50:00.000-04:00You are such a brave and selfless person! After a...You are such a brave and selfless person! After all that you have been through and given of yourself, you have the desire to bring another life in this world and have more than enough love for him/her. What a wonderful gift to H&E - a precious baby sibling. I'll send up prayers for peace for both of you in making your decision.Cassihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16473167636469708426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-69062827776084710092008-09-29T16:28:00.000-04:002008-09-29T16:28:00.000-04:00I do hope your husband never sees ''John and Kate+...I do hope your husband never sees ''John and Kate+8'';-) I too would like a third after two girls and not so openly wish for one healthy baby. That is because my husband agrees (isn't that something?) but it is I that have that desire since the day my second is born so I do feel like I am initiating it.<BR/>On the other hand, I meant to give you Dr Toomey's number for feeding issues, it is the great SOS Approach to feeding, you could ask if they know of a clinic using the approach in your area? (303)759-5316Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-28509004993224758562008-09-29T09:09:00.000-04:002008-09-29T09:09:00.000-04:00understanding your worries....i had a 26 week gran...understanding your worries....i had a 26 week granddaughter who will be 9 this jan, last year while my daughter was on the Patch became pregnent. she delivered a full term baby boy in dec who is the light of their lives. things can and do turn out for the good some times........Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-11744451645137693592008-09-29T00:11:00.000-04:002008-09-29T00:11:00.000-04:00Hi Billie,I guess I'm lucky in that I know why Moo...Hi Billie,<BR/><BR/>I guess I'm lucky in that I know why Moo was born early. I also knew what the risks were of it happening again (less than 5%) but it was still a very stressful pregnancy with Sumo.<BR/><BR/>We were also expecting the nice easy baby (seeing as though we had some previous experience with parenting). Boy, did we get that wrong. I look at him and think how can he be so different to the other boys - that is, when I'm not chasing after him, retrieving something from him, pulling him off the counter or furniture, stopping him from turning the fans/lights off and on etc.<BR/><BR/>I guess my point is that you can only plan so much. Sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway. Good luck to you and John with making this decision. I know that it is a difficult decision to make.<BR/><BR/>JacquiJacquihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03039454415384297225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-13023163716188944532008-09-28T21:01:00.000-04:002008-09-28T21:01:00.000-04:00Billie:I know your heart on this issue. After havi...Billie:<BR/><BR/>I know your heart on this issue. After having L & C so early (with no explanation), and subsequently losing Logan, my fears of another pregnancy were almost more than I could manage. I also knew I desperately wanted Cooper to have a sibling to grow up with. I also, selfishly wanted to experience a "normal" pregnancy (whatever that means).<BR/><BR/>As you know, Libbie was born by induction 2 days shy of her due date. She was born on my birthday, and was simply one of the most perfect little souls I have ever seen. <BR/><BR/>That being said, you know full well what a wreck I was throughout my entire pregnancy. I worried, I cried, I stressed. I made several trips to triage. But once she arrived, everything we had gone through in the previous 9 months were worth it. <BR/><BR/>I can't promise that things will be easy, that you won't stress. But I can tell you, you have more support than you can fathom. And, if you decide to have another baby, it will be very blessed to have such an amazing mother!Sarah Furloughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10930183175998340048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-40027708136650574872008-09-28T17:45:00.000-04:002008-09-28T17:45:00.000-04:00I appreciated your post. I don't think there ...I appreciated your post. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. We never imagined only having one child. But we went through 4 years of infertility and then got pregnant ( without medical intervention). We had a baby girl at 25 weeks due to a blood infection. She had PDA surgery and also had bi-lateral brain bleeds grades 4 & 2. She survived her prematurity and blood infection and spent 3 mos in the NICU.<BR/>She has multiple disabilities ( left hemi CP, completely non-verbal, sensory issues, motor -planning issues, and is on the Autism spectrum). <BR/>We were in our late thirties when our child was born.<BR/>We wanted more children but time was not on our side.<BR/>When our daughter was 3yrs - we were very proactive in wanting to make our decision with a clear head and not just be reactive to a 2nd pregnancy. Both of us went to have a consult to talk over our situation with the OB/GYN. This was extremely HELPFUL. <BR/>The doctor just explained what he would do - but he didn't try to sway us one direction or another.<BR/>But it was a reality check to hear <BR/>"the goal would be to get to 28wks"<BR/>and probably bedrest at week 16.<BR/>Every family has different amounts of resources and situations. We do not have a lot of help from our aging parents.........<BR/>So, we prayed and took TIME to figure out what was right for us.<BR/><BR/>It is a tough situation to be in -but in time - you & John will know what is right for your family.<BR/>Thank you for sharing your heart.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-11090139620780913952008-09-28T13:04:00.000-04:002008-09-28T13:04:00.000-04:00I'm of the belief that if God put the desire f...I'm of the belief that if God put the desire for another baby into your heart, there's a reason for it.<BR/><BR/>Yes, it's scary to ponder the unknowns & the "what if's", but ultimately, when all is said & done, there are no guarantees in life. I would trust that if God gives you a child, He'll equip you to take care of that child, regardless of what that child needs. He always has done so for me.<BR/><BR/>One other thing ~ I do not believe that your seeing midwives had ANYTHING to do with delivering H&E prematurely. There are many women who don't find out they're expecting twins until they're past 20 weeks! Also, going to a perinatologist isn't a guarantee of anything. With my last pregnancy (baby #7), I saw the peri every month and he NEVER picked up on the fact that my child had a form of spina bifida that would require him to be flown 300 miles away for surgery after his birth. Oops! Also, I was under the care of a perinatologist for my twin pregnancy and I still spent 2 weeks in the hospital prior to their premature birth. Again, having "comprehensive care" didn't guarantee a full-term pregnancy. If I am ever lucky enough to have another baby, I'm absolutely going to use a midwife and I want to encourage you to go with whoever you are comfortable with, as well. ((( hugs )))<BR/><BR/>God bless you as you embark on this new journey.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10184386463890917186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-77938343405754486712008-09-27T22:50:00.000-04:002008-09-27T22:50:00.000-04:00I could have written this same post 2 days ago whi...I could have written this same post 2 days ago while cleaning out Kellars closet and sorting through all the stained baby bibs and his soft cuddly blankets. I found myself sitting there just bawling as I held the blanket and then looked over at him playing on his horse, I have had this desire to have another baby but this fear that I have is real, it's there and there is this part of me that tells me to be thankful for what I have, I have a son who has blessed my life beyond measure, he's doing all that we were told he never would and I worry that if I were to get pg it may not be this way again! Since losing Cameron I think of what life would be like w/2 little boys running around here, I do want Kellar to have a sibling but not only are we scared but my whole family is totally freaked out just thinking about it! You will make the right decision..Kellars Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12188828281557708303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-11106357114963547762008-09-27T21:27:00.000-04:002008-09-27T21:27:00.000-04:00So many people ask us if we are done and my respon...So many people ask us if we are done and my response is always that we don't know. We are like you and are younger, and I feel that I would love to have a "normal" pregnancy and a "normal" birth experience, ideally bringing the baby home from the hospital with me! <BR/><BR/>Ultimately, I know I won't be ready until the babies are at least 2-3 years old and we know that we've give them (mostly Annabel with her mild hemiplegia) every opportunity possible to do everything that she can. I just feel that the babies and us went thru so much that they deserve full attention for awhile. You are at that point where you know you've given the girls your all to get them where they are developmentally (and of course will continue) and you should feel so proud of that and if you and John are comfortable trying again I think it'd be wonderful for you family!<BR/><BR/>JamieThe Buckley Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13661317573911978042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-68857813191184187212008-09-27T19:43:00.000-04:002008-09-27T19:43:00.000-04:00Hi Billie,I was exactly where you are this time la...Hi Billie,<BR/><BR/>I was exactly where you are this time last year - we couldn't 'make up our mind'. I knew I wanted another child but after having Arianna at 28 weeks, for no known reason, we were very scared.<BR/><BR/>I, like you, am the planner but my husband isn't exactly like John in that he was adamant about not adding to our family. He's very passive about anything until it directly affects him - so he was ok with trying again until we were successful (in our case, first try! ha!)<BR/><BR/>Our pregnancy with our now 5 week old was very hard for many more reasons than you can think of. I was such a wreck starting at 18 weeks - I was in the ER 8 times between that point and 34 weeks because I was convinced that something was wrong. I needed constant reassurance that everything was ok.<BR/><BR/>One thing this did was stress us out but it did get me extra special treatment and our little lady arrived 2 days short of full term after 6 weeks of bedrest (they discovered my cervix shortened suddenly at 27 weeks... again)<BR/><BR/>Anyway, my point is, there isn't anything you can do to make this decision any easier, you have to accept that things may go wrong - we had decide what our limits were, agree to them and find an OB/hospital who aligned with us and got lots of help from family/friends.<BR/><BR/>With the new treatment available you have a very good chance of having a good outcome in a subsequent pregnancy - you've been through it all so you know what to expect and demand. Just know that if you question anything to DEMAND extra attention.<BR/><BR/>I'm very happy (ok, ecstatic) with our outcome. Today, at 5 weeks 4 days, we got our first smile. Best thing I could have gotten all day - even with the colic and sleepless nights - its totally worth it.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13866020541016760651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-6397554882339670292008-09-27T17:57:00.000-04:002008-09-27T17:57:00.000-04:00We obviously had to plan our second pregnancy and ...We obviously had to plan our second pregnancy and it was a hugely scary thing for me to do. We are just getting to a point with Hallie where things are pretty good most of the time and the idea of upsetting that is so troubling to me, especially if there are any complications this time around (and we're just entering into the most complicated period in the last pregnancy). Still, I think in our case the biggest factor was our intense desire to try to provide Hallie with a sibling here on earth -- she will always be a twin, and having another baby in no way can replace Olivia in our lives and hearts but Sharon has such an intense bond with her older sister (our girls will be about the same age apart as Sharon and Laura are if everything goes well) that it seemed wrong not to try. If anything, god help us, goes wrong this time around, I'm not sure what we'll do, but we're keeping our fingers crossed.<BR/><BR/>I can't say that we were ready to make this decision though---the biological timeclock in our case was the biggest determining factor in why we tried this again when we did.abbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03403145277760263562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-16578373265270814162008-09-27T11:10:00.000-04:002008-09-27T11:10:00.000-04:00Aahhh...the big dilemma. Chris and I had this talk...Aahhh...the big dilemma. Chris and I had this talk just night before last. He has been anti-having more since B&B were born. When we first met, he wanted three. When we married he wanted two or three. After the terrifying premature-birth-NICU-stay experience, he has never wavered from keeping our family as is. Never. Not even during long, heartfelt talks about why I would like one more. He is much like John in that he is fearful that something could happen and he doesn't feel like he could go through that harrowing experience again. (Also, we were infertile and experienced an ectopic pregnancy before conceiving B&B). <BR/><BR/>My feelings are this: I would not do fertility treatments again, but if we got pregnant naturally, I would be overjoyed. I do not feel like our family is incomplete, nor do I sit around yearning for another child. I can full accept that we are done. But I would be thrilled if we weren't.<BR/><BR/>However, when the subject of scheduling the vasectomy comes up (which he agreed to long ago and, at least in theory, still wants to do), he never follows through. So a small part of me thinks maybe he's not as strong in his conviction to be "done" as he claims. <BR/><BR/>It's just not easy, is it?Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09473178461700511405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-2249481130596349622008-09-27T10:04:00.000-04:002008-09-27T10:04:00.000-04:00I had 23 week twin boys in March 2006. My baby B ...I had 23 week twin boys in March 2006. My baby B did not make it. Fortunately, I my baby A, Tyler, is a thriving two year old. My husband and I couldn't even think about the possiblility of going through that experience again. As fate would have it, we didn't get the opportunity to think about, weigh the options and fret over the decision to have another child. I found myself pregnant - ready or not. My second pregnancy went very smoothly and I delivered a healthy baby - full term - in March 2008. No hiccups, no problems...not to say that I did worry and stress over the possiblitity of it happening again. I did find myself relying heavily that God would carry me through the pregnancy and He did.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-85883635981766186292008-09-26T21:42:00.000-04:002008-09-26T21:42:00.000-04:00Love, love, love your story and your family!! Jus...Love, love, love your story and your family!! Just let me say this...I had two preemie children (our first passed away after being born at 23 weeks, my second preemie baby was born less than a year later at 28 weeks both due to PPROm) I VERY UNEXPECTEDLY became pregnant again a few months after our second child and my OB sent me straight to the Perinatologist. Terrified for 9 months, I ended up giving birth to a full term 10 pound baby boy! Let me just say this, I know you consulted with a midwife during your pregnancy with the girls..given your history,if you do decide to go for another child PLEASE PLEASE do not see a midwife (they didn't even know you were pregnant with twins!!!) See a specialist or at least an OB who can consult with one. I honestly feel you will be getting more comprehensive care this way. Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-28348204004066739562008-09-26T13:46:00.000-04:002008-09-26T13:46:00.000-04:00Dear Bille,There are so many of us there who feel ...Dear Bille,<BR/><BR/>There are so many of us there who feel your pain and longing. My husband and I both want another baby but we're terrified. All of your innocence gets stolen when you have a premature or critically ill child. Sometimes I wonder if I want another baby simply to recapture those wonderful moments of joy during the early part of my pregnancy. Please let us know if you and John come to some peace with a decision.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-46214739299630005002008-09-26T12:53:00.000-04:002008-09-26T12:53:00.000-04:00Billie,I understand. I did all the kid planning, ...Billie,<BR/><BR/>I understand. I did all the kid planning, too....and then....well, our preemie outcome was not as good as yours....<BR/><BR/>I simply HAD to try again. My husband, whom I love dearly, and is a wonderful father, (we have an older child as well) was NEVER going to get to the point where he could fully embrace the idea, but he was supportive enough to let me do it.....<BR/><BR/>It just had to be enough for me to know he would be a great father to the baby after it was born. I had to deal with the fact that I would need to enlist the help of others to get through my pregnancy. It turns out, we got pg a little before we were both ready, but we got through it. I did not take him to every OB appointment. I let him deal with it at his own pace, on his own time. Meanwhile, I had my own support network.<BR/><BR/>We had a term baby, beautiful, and healthy. but the story did not end there -- we went through more rough years as our son displayed exhausting, irritable, repetitive, and dangerous impulsive behavior, to the point people were asking me if he was autistic. He was not, and outgrew it, now he is five, and in kindergarten, and doing well. But I did feel guilty as we all struggled from ages 1-3. I did not push for a third living child, and we are officially over childbearing years.<BR/><BR/>Looking back, I have no regrets. We celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary, and he remains a wonderful husband and father. But that does not erase the hard parts to which there were no easy answers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-52545848767046182772008-09-26T11:18:00.000-04:002008-09-26T11:18:00.000-04:00Hello:I am a breast lationamericana of the prematu...Hello:<BR/>I am a breast lationamericana of the premature extreme one of 28 weeks, which it she has at this moment 13 months and with a diagnosis of cerebral paralysis.<BR/>I am 36 years old and wish very much a new baby, my husband this one so shy or mas that her,. I feel great a sorrow and pain. I write to you, I want to tell that when I read everything what you feel, I really feel identificsated with you. <BR/><BR/>I hope that God and the life give us the pleasure of being mothers again. An embrace and a kiss for so pretty girlsClaudia Estrellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16232301372339600589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-55388750294322873492008-09-26T08:50:00.000-04:002008-09-26T08:50:00.000-04:00You've been given a lot of wonderful advice an...You've been given a lot of wonderful advice and I hope that you and John can come to an agreement, that brings you both happiness and fulfillment. <BR/><BR/>(Personally, I believe you and John have more than enough love needed to raise another baby, and would suggest giving H&E a baby brother or sister... but I'm still in baby-bliss mode with my own little boy, and the idea of having 5 or 6 kiddos doesn't scare me right now :P)Mirandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15291201144481428349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-11098061970366474152008-09-26T02:09:00.000-04:002008-09-26T02:09:00.000-04:00What about making a consult appointment with a mat...What about making a consult appointment with a maternal/fetal medicine specialist, just to talk? Just to put some of your medical-risk fears out there on the table?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-45756274576261725902008-09-26T02:03:00.000-04:002008-09-26T02:03:00.000-04:00Clearly there is no perfect answer to this questio...Clearly there is no perfect answer to this question. I had a perfectly normal pregnancy that went to term and resulted in a baby that was clinging to life. After heart failure and a couple of strokes we realized that things would not be simple at my house. Still. . . we plan to have more than one and I relish the idea of raising another child. Will I do things differently? Of course--I plan on having a gyno and a fetal health specialist. Is it a guarantee? Of course not, but parethood never is.Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02189007616883663434noreply@blogger.com