tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post5786433811342099..comments2023-10-29T08:13:44.434-04:00Comments on Micro Preemie Twins: The Story of H & E: It was a Saturday...Billiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10589229199716201638noreply@blogger.comBlogger81125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-11947856235383211122007-09-11T09:17:00.000-04:002007-09-11T09:17:00.000-04:00You are forgiving yourself everyday with your love...You are forgiving yourself everyday with your love and care for your wonderful daughters.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-85750241646800644332007-08-17T23:17:00.000-04:002007-08-17T23:17:00.000-04:00OOo this one got me right in the gut. I totally u...OOo this one got me right in the gut. I totally understand your "how can I ever forgive myself" statement. My daughter's genetic condition is something I am a carrier for and I struggle with this DAILY to let it go. <BR/><BR/>Rationally I know that I didnt purposefully give her Emanuel Syndrome, I had no idea I was a carrier or even what it was.<BR/><BR/>But as you know too well, when you see your child suffer and struggle, you want so badly someone to blame...unfortunately it's easier to turn the finger on ourselves. <BR/><BR/>I will say to you what everyone says to me<BR/>It's not your fault, you love your children and THEY ARE MEANT TO BE HERE, THEY ARE MIRACLES. <BR/><BR/>Bless you and your family.Patyrishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02001544727042582614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-88528783350409441392007-08-11T11:05:00.000-04:002007-08-11T11:05:00.000-04:00Dear Billie,Thank you so much for sharing the stor...Dear Billie,<BR/>Thank you so much for sharing the story of Eden and Holland. You inspire me every day to be a better Mom to my children. Just knowing that there are people like you in the world makes me feel joy. When you live intensely, you feel intensely. Guilt, depression, sadness -- I'm sure because you are so sensitive, you feel these more intensely than other people. Your personality and circumstances force you to reflect more on things than other people... but Billie, you are one of the most alive and aware persons I have ever encountered. You are living life, not sleepwalking through like the majority.<BR/>There is a song they play a lot on the radio here (Germany) "These Small Hours" by Rod Thomas. When I hear him sing, "Let it go...let your clarity define you." I think of you and your family and send up a prayer for your happiness.<BR/>Wishing you all the best and happy birthday to you as a mother and to your little girls!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-56444875405735553192007-08-07T15:29:00.000-04:002007-08-07T15:29:00.000-04:00I understand your guilt, I really do. I delivered ...I understand your guilt, I really do. I delivered twin girls at 27 weeks, and one of my daughters died because of cystic kidney disease. My other daughter lived for four months in the NICU, went home on oxygen, and other than being very small for her age, is doing well. <BR/><BR/>Every day, I fight off the guilt for what suffering my children have experienced, even though I know it was completely out of my control. Every day that my daughter lags behind, every day that my other daughter is simply not here, I blame myself.<BR/><BR/>I don't know if there is any way of getting past it, but like everyone here has said, you've done a wonderful job with your children! When I am feeling like you feel now, I remind myself that we mothers do the very best we can with what circumstances we are given. Our beautiful children know that we are not to blame. Maybe someday we will find the grace to agree with them :)<BR/><BR/>Much love and peace to you...and Happy Birthday to your girls!<BR/><BR/>NAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-37747477484336175922007-08-05T21:41:00.000-04:002007-08-05T21:41:00.000-04:00Oh, God, I know what you mean. It may not be rat...Oh, God, I know what you mean. It may not be rational, but it's there in me too, deep inside and buried, rarely let out.<BR/>Blessings,<BR/>JanetAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-18151593662587530742007-08-05T20:18:00.000-04:002007-08-05T20:18:00.000-04:00Happy Birthday girls!Happy Birthday girls!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05670542231656442015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-88805309527171726602007-08-04T15:47:00.000-04:002007-08-04T15:47:00.000-04:00Happy Birthday, Holland and Eden!Happy Birthday, Holland and Eden!Ivannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12633896122815931758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-31514201364727231542007-08-04T11:10:00.000-04:002007-08-04T11:10:00.000-04:00Happy birthday kiddos! I think it's hard for peopl...Happy birthday kiddos! <BR/>I think it's hard for people who don't have special needs children to understand...I have the most irrational guilt thoughts, and I KNOW they are irrational, they just FEEL totally rational. <BR/>Bittersweet, I know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-87335939300596536692007-08-03T22:46:00.000-04:002007-08-03T22:46:00.000-04:00Happy Birthday H & E! May this year be filled wit...Happy Birthday H & E! May this year be filled with nothing but happiness!<BR/><BR/>Billie, you are an inspiration to so many people. Your determination keeps me going!Jamie and Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11908468732218370163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-21651711788533314142007-08-03T21:49:00.000-04:002007-08-03T21:49:00.000-04:00I read your blog often,and just want to let you kn...I read your blog often,and just want to let you know I aspire to be as good a mom as you are to your girls. I also had preemie twins, not as early as you and not as many complications, but I can relate to what you went thru and continue to go through.. I wish you and your family much happiness.. You have helped many many parents and their kids with your courage and devotion.. Happy Birthday to two special little girls!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-14756200966104493302007-08-03T12:51:00.000-04:002007-08-03T12:51:00.000-04:00Happy Thirdy Birthday, Eden & Holland!Billie - I d...Happy Thirdy Birthday, Eden & Holland!<BR/><BR/>Billie - I don't think there is a preemie mom out there that hasn't been in your shoes. You are a wonderful mom - the girls are so lucky to have you - and by golly, aren't they just so darn cute?!?Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05784762797071642899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-67890249780004207782007-08-03T09:10:00.000-04:002007-08-03T09:10:00.000-04:00Hi,I've been reading your blog with a lot of inter...Hi,<BR/><BR/>I've been reading your blog with a lot of interest over the last few weeks as my 11mth old daughter has been diagnosed with dystonic cerebral palsy. I think you have a lot of courage and you are an inspiration to me to hang on in there and I can only hope I can manage half as well as you do. They are beautiful girls and it has been fascinating to see how they have grown and developed into little people over the last 3 years.<BR/><BR/>Claire from London.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-45883225934053396642007-08-03T06:51:00.000-04:002007-08-03T06:51:00.000-04:00I have stumbled upon your page while looking for a...I have stumbled upon your page while looking for a connection with parents with other micro preemie parents and I have to say with all honesty that you do AMAZING things for those girls. They're such cool kids! You should be so proud of yourself! Just think about the difference between last B-Day and this one! Happy Birthday girls!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-43420211498749290442007-08-02T22:58:00.000-04:002007-08-02T22:58:00.000-04:00Happy belated birthday, sweet girls!You are beauti...Happy belated birthday, sweet girls!<BR/>You are beautiful, lovely little ladies. You are blessed to have a beautiful Mommy and a wonderful Daddy who love you more than you could ever know.<BR/>Big hugs for Holland and Eden from Kendra.Kendra Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10987312000889846337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-86081819983498670772007-08-02T22:42:00.000-04:002007-08-02T22:42:00.000-04:00No forgiveness needed - you have always done the v...No forgiveness needed - you have always done the very best you can. NOONE can ask for more than that.<BR/><BR/>Happy birthday to your girls<BR/><BR/>EmAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-70800611867572865302007-08-02T17:19:00.000-04:002007-08-02T17:19:00.000-04:00Happy Birthday beautiful girls! I can't believe t...Happy Birthday beautiful girls! I can't believe they are 3--I started reading just after B&B were born 2 years ago, so I feel I've watched them grow up.<BR/><BR/>I wish I could reach out and give you a hug. I hurt for you. You know I've said time and again that I am in awe of you and feel you are a role model for other mothers out there in similar circumstances. Tertia said it best (doesn't she always?) Still, it doesn't matter if *logically* you know you have no blame for how things turned out, your heart still feels that emotion. You just can't help it. <BR/><BR/>Your girls are awesome, and certainly that is due in large part to their wonderful parents. We all love you...Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09473178461700511405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-27026555555662143692007-08-02T13:27:00.000-04:002007-08-02T13:27:00.000-04:00Feel your feelings Billie and honour them, whateve...Feel your feelings Billie and honour them, whatever they may be. Your feelings are neither good nor bad, they just are. Happy Birthday to your two beautiful girls.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-3686589255702337952007-08-02T08:10:00.000-04:002007-08-02T08:10:00.000-04:00HAPPY HAPPY 3rd Birthday to Holland and Eden. For...HAPPY HAPPY 3rd Birthday to Holland and Eden. For over a year now, I have enjoyed reading about your sweet girls and especially your thoughts as their mom. I think you have a GIFT for writing and should author a book with all of your postings. I am the mom of a micropreemie. I feel like I understand the mix of feelings you are describing. Our child is 5 and a half (and has profound disabilities). On the 5th birthday we had a HUGE party and raised over 3,000 dollars for our local NICU. We invited family, friends, hospital staff and therapists to our celebration. For me personally, this brought closure to our child's early beginning. I had struggled with letting certain nurses play havoc with my self-esteem as a new mom. Don't misunderstand me, we had some WONDERFUL nurses (who saved our daughter's life) but we also were exposed to over 100 different nurses and some of them were just hard to not take personally. The NICU period in our lives was SO HARD. So, in some small way, giving back to NICU has helped me move forward as our child is getting ready for school. Also, I heard somewhere that guilt involves "intent" and your intent was pure. Your girls are LOVED, ADORED AND CARED FOR. Many many children in this world do not have that going for them and are truly disabled in their well-being. I am not trying to negate the struggles our children have. Keep blowing bubbles and letting them have tea parties and take them to more Sesame street shows - they are lovely girls and I know you are the STRENGTH to all of their accomplishments. Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrate! Sorry, this post was so long. THANK YOU, for sharing your girls and your thoughts with us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-43704831078780752252007-08-02T07:34:00.000-04:002007-08-02T07:34:00.000-04:00I have a faint understanding of how you feel. I l...I have a faint understanding of how you feel. I lost a baby five years ago and still feel guilty every day for it. Even though I know it's irrational and there is nothing I could have done, I can't shake the feeling that I could have done more.<BR/><BR/>You're girls are happy and you are a beautiful family. Here's wishing you many years of love and laughter.Tanyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14015747973827058827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-7894873703605368352007-08-02T00:49:00.000-04:002007-08-02T00:49:00.000-04:00Happy birthday Holland and Eden. I have watched al...Happy birthday Holland and Eden. I have watched all the videos on youtube of you playing with the girls. You take the time to play with them and make your house such a fun place to be. You're a wonderful Mom and you have two beautiful, happy, little girls.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14299493731311058061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-51757534482340842102007-08-02T00:44:00.000-04:002007-08-02T00:44:00.000-04:00No reason to need forgiven, just thanked for being...No reason to need forgiven, just thanked for being a wonderful, fabulous, loving mother to two amazing and beautiful daughters. Happy Birthday to Holland and Eden! (sorry for the delay...just home from vacation)Kelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00472980944808723575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-74288371447061203422007-08-01T23:49:00.000-04:002007-08-01T23:49:00.000-04:00Guilt only decreases your amazing ability to advoc...Guilt only decreases your amazing ability to advocate for and LOVE your beautiful girls. Don't go there!<BR/><BR/>Happy Birthday Holland and Eden! I love being able to follow your wonderful adventures in life. Thank your Mom for including us all on the amazing journey you're on. <BR/><BR/>To many, many more wonderful years!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-65625588073717649522007-08-01T23:03:00.000-04:002007-08-01T23:03:00.000-04:00I echo all the sentiments already said so eloquent...I echo all the sentiments already said so eloquently and to share in the joy of your daughter's lives.<BR/><BR/>A very Happy Birthday to two beautiful girls!Minnesota Mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17311338536328015242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-11476641016878457332007-08-01T21:33:00.000-04:002007-08-01T21:33:00.000-04:00Billie, You do not need forgivness, only praise. Y...Billie, <BR/>You do not need forgivness, only praise. Your girls are two beautiful examples of your greatness as a mother. However, with micropremie twins myself, I know exactly how you feel. I too blame myself whenever I hurt for them. Stay strong you are a great mom, the smiles tell it all. <BR/><BR/>Happy Birthday girls, you just keep beating those odds.Korrina - Lena and Kassie's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11392106035956091929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7915600.post-79949689178432740682007-08-01T21:03:00.000-04:002007-08-01T21:03:00.000-04:00I can't say anything that someone else hasn't alre...I can't say anything that someone else hasn't already said more eloquently than I ever could (especially Tertia!), but I understand why this day can be bittersweet. Allow yourself the time to be upset that circumstances worked out the way that they did, but then look into those two beautiful three year old faces and know that you absolutely did everything you could have done for them. That it is because of you that they are alive at all. That it is because of your perseverance and dedication that they are as healthy and happy as they are today. You are amazing, Billie. I understand the guilt, but it is not your fault. I hope you can acknowledge it, then let it go and eat some cake.<BR/><BR/>Happy birthday, beautiful girls.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04299620492056451965noreply@blogger.com